Wax Like a Porn Star

Image by inna mikitas

 

I don’t want to bang on about the lockdown that we are under in the UK, except to observe that it’s very hard to feel like your best self when you are unable to have the grooming/ beauty treatments in which you’d usually indulge. I had been trying to grow my hair prior to the pandemic, but now my neat ‘bob’ is long gone, roots are showing through my lightened hair (alongside some unwelcome grey) while my fringe is level with my ears! I’ll bet many of you are suffering likewise – forced to get crafty with plaits and hair accessories. Guys can’t visit the barber either, so their options are shaving their mop brutally with clippers or letting it grow, many with beards in the style of the hippy types straight from the 70s.

 

Having one’s crowning glory look less than glorious is tough, but what about other hair? Yeah the hair down there. If you usually have your pubes waxed (as I do) I’ll bet the lady garden currently looks rather unkempt! Every shower, my observation of my usually smooth mons being so overgrown made me feel less than sexy. I know some people shave, but in an area of such delicate flesh, I found it a scary challenge. There are real issues of cuts and reaching the hard-to-access parts. 

 

However, with the prospect of some Valentine’s day romance on the horizon, I resolved to “bring the sexy back” (like the Justin Timberlake song) so I went into the shower with a fresh razor.

 

Initially my motivation to get a full Hollywood wax was inspired by porn. I had gravitated reluctantly from bikini waxes to trying a Brazilian – at the beauty salon I visited, the technicians seemed rather squeamish about waxing pussies. Customers wore paper panties and pulled them out of the way so dabs of hot wax could be applied and painfully stripped away – no hope of any shaping/topiary.  

 

But I was reading erotica where it drove the men wild to see this particular erogenous zone denuded of hair, and for the women the claim was increased sensitivity – who wouldn’t be keen for that? (For research purposes) I watched some modern porn, where none of the women had a speck of body hair. The sexy message was enforced; the swelling of labia & clits with arousal was visible, as was their honeyed excitement. Oral sex looked much more tantalizing. The guys were manscaped, shaved pubes made their cocks look longer.

Deciding to organise a Hollywood wax as a surprise for my O.H. (he was working away) I chose a beautician specialising in intimate waxing, and made an appointment. I popped some (uncessary) painkillers before I went, because my experience was painless.The technician was so professional, assertive and sure in her technique, I still use her. I get into some strange positions, she and I hold my flesh tight, for efficient removal of every wisp of hair – on my knees with my back dipped gives her access to any hair in my butt crack. It’s necessary to endure the hot waxy substance between my labia to remove those hairs just inside the edge, which is a momentary discomfort, but I’m as smooth as a peach once she’s finished.

 

I’ve been having intimate waxing regularly for about 6 years now, but only managed 1 wax after March last year, when lockdown was eased. It’s inevitable but I’m unhappy to see patchy hair adorning my pussy again. I hate the coarse nickname “growler” for this part of female anatomy – but seeing someone sport a full bush (a la the 70s) that’s the term that springs to mind! 

 

What I’d blocked from my memory before taking up my disposal razor, was how itchy my pussy feels after the hairs have been cut so bluntly – also I nicked myself, which really stung. I didn’t do a neat job standing in the shower. My good friend May has her partner shave her, sitting on a bed with a bowl of water. I suggest this as a better method.  

 

Anyhow, I’m neater now, not ready to make a sex tape (and nor would I!) but reading this great story recently, Alice’s shared her foray into amateur porn, I got a hankering for the freedom of my younger days. So you can imagine that I’m counting down the days until – masks on – I can visit my beautician for the hot wax depilation after which I will feel frisky as a spring lamb! (I’m sure my O.H. is looking forward to that mindset too!)

 

My beauty technician’s terms: Brazilian Wax = hair removed in groin area leaving a straight ‘landing strip’ on the labia, Hollywood Wax = hair removed entirely from the groin and anal area.

Chatting with a couple of Twitter friends sparked this train of thought, which seemed fitting for the prompts of “Porn” over on 4 Thoughts & Fiction and also “Spring is Coming” on Mindful Moments. Please check out the other posts by hardworking writers submitting to these memes and consider adding your own words if you feel so inspired – it’s lovely to hear new voices.

 

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16 thoughts on “Wax Like a Porn Star”

  1. Posy I love this post! or should I say Post I love this Posy lol
    I have a bush now! It will be going soon. This happened during the last lockdown and rather than start off with shaving longer hair with a razor we use an electric clipper to get it as short as can be, then the razor shaving is less harsh on the sensitive skin
    May xx

    1. Ha ha May – thanks. Well I wouldn’t have guessed that outcome, as you aren’t even distanced from your ‘technician’! Trimming 1st with the clippers sounds a wise idea.

  2. Great post Posy. It was entertaining to read but I do see the serious point and think that lots of us are feeling less than usual on the attractiveness score. I have never had an intimate wax. I usually have a small patch of hair with the rest bare. I do have a home laser which works but you need to remember to do it the right weeks or it’s less effective. Missy x

    1. Thanks missy, yes there is a serious message about our own image in this tough time, but I wanted to talk about it in a lighthearted way. Home laser – that’s a new one on me!

  3. How many things that seemed so mundane suddenly became a problem. I never cease to be amazed at this fact. We can only hope that the epidemic will end and we can return to our usual way of life.

    1. You’re absolutely right Lisa, and alongside that the people whose livlihood depends on these mundane things must be struggling badly. Hoping very hard for us to get a grip on this epidemic.

  4. Last night we heard the beauticians will open again on 3 March, and I can’t tell you how happy I am with that. I can’t wait to have a Brazilian… uh scrap that… a Hollywood wax again! I have been shaving for the past weeks, but I am really not a fan of that! Great post, Posy!
    ~ Marie xox

    1. It is good news indeed Marie – thanks for your support. I am wondering how on earth you would shave effectively with all your piercings! (actually waxing must also be a little tricky)

  5. Brilliant post Posy. Smooth is my preference, but my reaction to being waxed was embarrassing for the technician and made it impossible to do myself. Oops!

    I never thought I’d say this though, but I’m looking forward to getting my roots done! (A much less pleasurable experience!)

    Thank you for linking up to Mindful Moments. N x

    1. I must admit I quite ‘like’ the waxing too, but not in a way anyone else would detect. Yes hair is quite high maintenance, wherever it grows!

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