I was recently asked by May Moore to take part in a project to support her upcoming online publication based on the diaries of 7 people in 7 days during the COVID-19 lock down.

I used to keep a diary from childhood to teen, but not for years. I thought it might be of relevance to be involved in a time limited project that captures people’s thoughts in unprecedented times. I was acquainted with some of the other 6 diarists before we embarked on this venture and others I barely knew, but sharing our thoughts and reading the results when this is all put together will remedy that. From tasters released, I can see that we have very different living situations, outlooks and challenges which we are balancing during this time of enforced lock down.

I am happy to have the three most important people in my world sharing my living space and lucky enough that we seem to be co-operating well. We get outside for fresh air and exercise, I know not everyone is so fortunate.

 

Missy began the seven days with her post, which can be found here
Jae followed up with day 2, which can be found here
ML took the day 3 slot which can be found here
His Lordship wrote about the 4th day which you can read here
Sweetgirl followed on with the 5th day which you can find here
There is 1 more diarist – May More – whose day 7 entry follows mine

— 0 —

6 April 2020 – Day 6

 

It was pleasant walking this morning, despite the light drizzle and a drop in temperature, the birds were chorusing and communicating. The news this morning was heavy with reactions to the Queen’s motivational speech last night. A comedian has died and the PM was admitted to hospital, which emphasises the harsh reality of this virus. On the flip side some high profile celebrities are taking on initiatives to support the frontline workers.

 

It’s my day off so I can suit myself how to spend my time, but phone calls relating to settling my father’s estate need to be made. Once they’re done it’s pleasant chatting on Twitter with existing and new friends who’ve been doing a music challenge. It’s been uplifting to share music memories and be introduced to new tracks. My playlist is expanding daily.

 

After lunch I shut myself away in my spare room/ office to revise a serial I for which edits were recently returned. It isn’t easy seeing “red pen” over something I’ve written, but I trust this editor. I expand my story in suggested places and tighten it up in others. After working on it for about 2 hours I’m at  the end, but I’m still not happy with it.  

 

Now, however, my dog is jumping hopefully, indicating enthusiasm for a walk in the woods. We follow a track leading us to a neighbouring golf club. Ordinarily we’d never walk this route for fear of trespassing and being hit by balls, but it is deserted and beautiful by the water features. Seeing ducks and geese in a peaceful setting soothes us.

 

Once home, I wrestle with story edits a little longer before deciding to take a break. My OH gets back from walking our other dog and starts preparing the evening meal. Afterwards the kids take their turn at washing up.

 

OH and I spend the evening together watching a drama. When everyone goes to bed, I have some time to myself to catch up. I check my site, twitter feed and write this diary while watching TV shows that only I enjoy. 

 

I realise my mood has plummeted, presumably from thinking about my dad’s estate. It’s the end of an era, his house has to be sold, all our family mementos cleared, it’s tough. What feels worst of all is that he planned to leave us, his children, a nice legacy,  to cushion our lives going forward. However the impact of Covid-19 on market values means that nest egg is dwindling before it’s even passed on. I feel responsible this is happening on my watch, although the situation is unprecedented, nothing anybody could do. 

 

I shed a few tears before I go to sleep. Tomorrow would be my dad’s birthday.

— 0 —

 

I have been working constantly this year, some of you might not have been aware that my father died in mid January. I did not take any time off, instead preferring to distract myself and keep going. We were able to have his cremation, but the Covid-19 shutdown prevented us holding the carefully planned memorial in celebration of his 91 years. I was still working as my company’s business is deemed essential but I am to be furloughed as of next week.

I think it is time I took a breather from everything. My family and my health must take priority. I will probably continue to write but to a much looser agenda.

This post is submitted for #TellMeAbout  & #FoodforThought where the topics are Lockdown and the Erotic Challenge where the prompt is Love in the Time of Corona

 

 

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Comments (21)

  1. Reply

    I could really relate to the range of emotions that came across in your entry Posy. The situation with losing your dad must be so difficult and, I am one of the people who had not realised, so my deepest sympathies to you. Taking some time for self-care and putting yourself first sounds like a good plan. I look forward to reading the rest of your diary. 🙂

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thanks Missy – I feel as if my life is quiet, but on this one thing I am like a swan (calm on top, legs going crazy underneath)

  2. Nero

    Reply

    Hugs n kisses Posy 💋 this is the anniversary of my mother’s death , so I feel for you.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thanks Nero – this has been such a tough few months for me, for several different reasons but bereavement features high on the list. Your support & hugs always appreciated. x

  3. Reply

    Oh hugs Posy – I feel for you with your dad only recently having passed and still needing to deal with your dad’s affairs. The lockdown has made all this more difficult and raised emotions – I so looking forward to the rest of your weeks diary xx

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  5. Reply

    I know I already messaged you in person, but this entry remains as touching today. As I read this I pictured the different spaces you were in during this day and could see it as if I was playing a film in my head. My thoughts are with you in these difficult times.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you, that’s the kind of praise a writer loves to hear. I’m pleased it resonated with you, and my low mood will not last.

  6. Reply

    I’m so sorry about your father! My father is almost the same age. And that day is approaching! I wonder if you must sell the home now. Why not wait until this situation has changed? Though I realize there are pros and cons to either idea. Your post was poignant. Stay well!

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you Michael, I miss him loads. We will wait until the situation has changed before putting it on the market. My siblings need the ‘help’ of it. I hope your father stays well, my Dad was pretty spry up until September ’19, then it went downhill. You stay well xx

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you, I hope when all 7 diaries become a book that you’ll purchase it and get the full overview. I’m looking forward to reading what the other diarists wrote!

  7. Reply

    I’m so sorry you couldn’t have the memorial, Posy, and I’m sorry that all this has added to what is already such a sad and difficult time. It is no wonder you had to let the tears out. Thank you for sharing this personal experience with us, and please know that I am thinking of you and sending you love and hugs, and wishing you strength and peace. xx

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Ah Jupie, my heartache is tiny in comparison with people who are losing loved ones to Covid-19 and cant say goodbye in hospital, let alone the service they need for closure. Your support and sympathy is gratefully received.

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    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thanks ML. I found it fascinating how even writing diary entries could be approached differently by different authors. I am humbled that you enjoyed mine so much and – yep – wish I could have had an extra hug that day.

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