[4.5 minute read]

I’ve never faked it a la “Sally” in the iconic scene from the film When Harry Met Sally. It wouldn’t work – I’m not that good an actress. But I have pretended I was getting more pleasure out of sex than was actually true.

I’ve written posts about my early discoveries of self pleasure, and I was pretty proficient at getting myself off and my orgasms were very satisfying, even though they were from external stimulation and did not include penetration. 

My Mother had warned me that my first sexual forays might not live up to expectations, and she was spot on!  My first time was high excitement closely followed by an ache like I’d been punched, to describe it as disappointing would be an understatement. The excitement didn’t go away though, and I couldn’t wait to try it again. [That’s got to be nature, for the survival of the species!]

The guy I lost my virginity to was stupid and arrogant, and we didn’t last long. Our sex made me feel horny but not satisfied, but I don’t think he worried whether I’d climaxed, hence no need to fake it.

The next guy was Mr big shot. We’d both started at college and I was just a notch on his headboard. He was hung like a horse, to the point that I worried could I accommodate him? Being big, why would he learn foreplay or what women want? I was left unsatisfied every time, not that he noticed.

My third partner & I were together for several years. He was patient and generous and we shared many firsts. When he’d had a few drinks the subsequent sex might require me to fake it. Sometimes to get it over with ; other times because he hadn’t given us the time for foreplay. I knew myself well enough, I wouldn’t climax from penetration only.

Fast forward to ‘Hamish’ who was young and entitled, he needed to learn foreplay and get in tune with what a woman wants (read the serial). The trouble with getting me very aroused but not climaxing, is that the frustration gives me a headache.

 

I had a 1 night stand. This guy was brash and arrogant. We’d flirted with each other for several days, amongst a crowd of friends. It peaked at a party. We sneaked off early, but separately so our friends wouldn’t know we left together. 

When we got to his place it was like sexy show and tell. I’d do one trick, he’d show me another. We were peacocking our sexual antics. The condom he was wearing was numbing things for me. In a desperate attempt to get our coupling over with, I faked it. I huffed and puffed and groaned. Imagining himself to be a stud, I am sure he believed that I saw stars.


We are honest, my OH and I, we work through our problems. Sometimes I don’t cum, occasionally he doesn’t. I prefer to admit that I am not in the mood. – faking seems like dishonesty and we don’t give that house room. 

If he has to ask me, “Did you cum?” 

I might answer “I think so, it was one of those low level ripple ones.” 

Alternatively I’d say “No, but for a while I thought I might as the foreplay was really good.” 

I’ve learned the near misses work quite effectively as edging. So there’s always next time.

 

 

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Post shared to fit with the Faking It prompt for #Food4thoughtFriday

Comments (14)

  1. Reply

    Loved this Posy – honesty shining through. I was talking to my man earlier about orgasms – as u do over breakfast when u are a sex blogger – and he said that on in the past on occasions when he has masturbated and really trying to come he has found a pain in the back of his head. Maybe that is similar to what u describe? – perhaps it is a pressure?

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Probably too honest – Posy overshares again! So true what you say about sexblogger convo! Ha Ha.
      I think you’re right, it’s probably a tension thing.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you, my erotica is fantasy but my opinion pieces are steeped in honesty (and oversharing!)

  2. Isabelle Lauren

    Reply

    I agree that it’s better to be honest than to fake it. I felt the need to fake it in my marriage on occasion and in hindsight I really shouldn’t have done that. Now my husband and I are just open and honest about it. And often if I don’t come during intercourse, he makes me come with some sex toys afterwards. If I wasn’t honest about it, I wouldn’t be getting those after-sex (or after PIV) orgasms at all.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Oh goodness – I also kept quiet, until I knew my OH better. Honesty & trust has enhanced things so much for us and it seems it has for you too – hurrah for that! We all deserve orgasms, let’s throw out the rule book on how we achieve them!

  3. Pingback: A Sausage Sizzling SoSS - Posy Churchgate : Pillow Talk

  4. Reply

    I think the bad sex if worthy of a rant. That and men who think their pleasure is all that matters. I’m glad that things are different with your OH – I too get the low level orgasms, but they don’t mean I’m faking.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: