[4 minute read]

 

My Thoughts on the topic of Taboos were stirred up firstly by a talk at Eroticon 2018 and recently by the F4TF prompt #110. Although I missed the deadline to link my post, my thoughts are as follows:

Some taboos have changed over the centuries while others remain as taboo/ shocking / shunned by society as they ever were.

 

Constant Taboos:

 

Murder (Patricide/Matricide)

Incest (can vary within cultures)

Bestiality

Rape

Cannibalism

 

Those which have changed (I’d suggest):

 

Same sex relationships / marriage

Sex with underage people (perception of underage has adjusted over centuries)

Adultery (acceptance of polyamory)

Transgenderism

Rape within a marriage

Using surgery to change gender

 

Taboos recently arriving on our radar:

Sharing another’s intimate pictures on social media without permission (revenge porn)

Taking intimate pictures without permission (up-skirting)

Refusing to accept the gender which a person chooses to present

Sexual congress where there is an imbalance of power (e.g. Clinton & Monica Lewinsky)

 

What is taboo for one person may not be taboo for another. This is true if cultures do not align, or if we take the term to mean a person’s hard limit. What some people term taboo, others may term a kink or fetish.

 

Examples of taboos now considered kink:


Blood play (including knife play and needles)

Sexual humiliation

Exhibitionism / voyeurism

Sadism / masochism (including medical play and corporal punishment)


Some people enjoy reading fiction involving a taboo, yet they would be horrified to witness or be involved in the act in real life (incest and rape scenarios are common examples).


One taboo which has recently come into mainstream consciousness is:

Males being sexually abused/ raped by females 

It became more widely reported during the #metoo exposes, and I think it’s a topic which needs airing.  May wrote a fictionalised piece on the subject, and melody has written about male rape from her PoV.

 

I heard shocking accounts of gay men who were traumatised from being groped by predatory women who refused to believe their advances were unwanted. 

 

If the man accosted is heterosexual, being touched inappropriately by a woman without having encouraged her or given her consent still counts as molestation. Primitive sexual responses may be triggered (the male may get ‘hard’) but this does not equate to his consent. It does, however, increase his feelings of guilt about the incident.

 

The same rules of consent regarding inappropriate touching and sexual advances apply to men as to women, even if society is less used to a woman being predatory.

I’m reminded of a crude and ill-informed remark a male colleague made within my hearing.

“A guy being raped by a woman?  There’s no such thing!”


Can happen * Does happen * Is traumatic* (perhaps more distressing because it is considered taboo)*

This post is also submitted for the #masturbationmonday meme. Click the link to see who else is participating.

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Comments (13)

  1. Reply

    Probably because I wrote about it in the post you kindly linked to, it didn’t occur to me to write about it under the Taboo prompt. I’m very glad that you have written about this here.

    “There’s no such thing” is a very common response when first hearing about this topic, from both males and females, usually accompanied by a laugh. The reality of experience is so very different, so thank you for keeping it in the consciousness.

    melody xx

  2. Reply

    I too did not think to include it in my Taboo post. I am so glad you have written this – I love the way you have set this out as well – discussing changing taboos etc. Thank you for linking my post – I think it is an important topic and I do know a guy it happened to, indeed my fictionalized account is about his experience xx

  3. Tempted70

    Reply

    Wow that’s very thought provoking indeed. It makes you wonder how many other things are biased according to gender, as to how they are seen when they are already taboo. You actually pose the question as to what is seen as acceptable for one gender but taboo for the other.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you – I am glad my post has struck a chord and got people thinking. This taboo can’t be brushed under the carpet and needs to be treated with the same gravity regardless of gender. This is also true regarding the understanding and support which the victims require/ deserve.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thank you. Yes I believe taboos are a little fluid with both technology / law /societal norms

  4. Reply

    Curiously, you didn’t mention masturbation as a taboo and there is a wealth of religious and pseudo-medical denunciations of “self abuse” , many of which sound funny now but which have stunted the psychosexual development of so many pole up to the present day. We need to fight taboos, to educate, to help people experience the joy and beauty that can be found in ALL nonsensical sex.

    I agree that taboos are fluid but we should never forget the high price paid by many people in overcoming them. x

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Thanks for reminding me of that Eve – a big omission for sure. I can only say (in my defence) I have so little shame about masturbating that it didn’t even occur to me – but yep a big old taboo for so many years, and still treated as a bit shady by some. I am very grateful you added this comment. x

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Ha – that was a funny typo! I think you also meant ‘people’ (not pole). You were obviously ranty-typing! [blows kiss]

  5. Reply

    “Some people enjoy reading fiction involving a taboo, yet they would be horrified to witness or be involved in the act in real life” — I fall into this camp for sure. Some of my favorite things to read about are things I’d NEVER want to experience in real life.

    • p0sy

      Reply

      Absolutely true Kayla, I am the same. I like to read some dark things, they fuel my fantasies but in no way would I act on them.

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