[4 minute read]
My Thoughts on the topic of Taboos were stirred up firstly by a talk at Eroticon 2018 and recently by the F4TF prompt #110. Although I missed the deadline to link my post, my thoughts are as follows:
Some taboos have changed over the centuries while others remain as taboo/ shocking / shunned by society as they ever were.
Incest (can vary within cultures)
Those which have changed (I’d suggest):
Same sex relationships / marriage
Sex with underage people (perception of underage has adjusted over centuries)
Adultery (acceptance of polyamory)
Rape within a marriage
Using surgery to change gender
Taboos recently arriving on our radar:
Sharing another’s intimate pictures on social media without permission (revenge porn)
Taking intimate pictures without permission (up-skirting)
Refusing to accept the gender which a person chooses to present
Sexual congress where there is an imbalance of power (e.g. Clinton & Monica Lewinsky)
What is taboo for one person may not be taboo for another. This is true if cultures do not align, or if we take the term to mean a person’s hard limit. What some people term taboo, others may term a kink or fetish.
Examples of taboos now considered kink:
Blood play (including knife play and needles)
Exhibitionism / voyeurism
Sadism / masochism (including medical play and corporal punishment)
Some people enjoy reading fiction involving a taboo, yet they would be horrified to witness or be involved in the act in real life (incest and rape scenarios are common examples).
One taboo which has recently come into mainstream consciousness is:
Males being sexually abused/ raped by females
It became more widely reported during the #metoo exposes, and I think it’s a topic which needs airing. May wrote a fictionalised piece on the subject, and melody has written about male rape from her PoV.
I heard shocking accounts of gay men who were traumatised from being groped by predatory women who refused to believe their advances were unwanted.
If the man accosted is heterosexual, being touched inappropriately by a woman without having encouraged her or given her consent still counts as molestation. Primitive sexual responses may be triggered (the male may get ‘hard’) but this does not equate to his consent. It does, however, increase his feelings of guilt about the incident.
The same rules of consent regarding inappropriate touching and sexual advances apply to men as to women, even if society is less used to a woman being predatory.
I’m reminded of a crude and ill-informed remark a male colleague made within my hearing.
“A guy being raped by a woman? There’s no such thing!”
Can happen * Does happen * Is traumatic* (perhaps more distressing because it is considered taboo)*
This post is also submitted for the #masturbationmonday meme. Click the link to see who else is participating.