Have you ever had your skirt fall off

while out for a walk? No? Just me then!

Daft things are always happening to me – I don’t know why.

Well I do, several of my faults conspire against me:

• Usually running late
• Clumsy / poor hand-eye coordination
• Penchant for high heels, short skirts

When I was just 18 I was walking my dog and bumped into a boy I fancied (it wasn’t co-incidence, I’d seen him and his dog from my window so rushed to drag my dog out to engineer a conversation). As he was leaving the park with his boxer dog, I was arriving with my rather shy bitch. I stopped to say hello etc. but his dog got very interested in mine (wanting to sniff her butt). My dog was having none of it! Her attempts to keep out of reach caused both dogs to circle me, wrapping their leads tightly round my legs. I lost my balance and fell forwards onto my hands, bum in the air. I was so embarrassed, and the boy was probably not impressed, he certainly didn’t ask me on a date!

I fell headfirst into a guy’s lap on the underground last summer! I’d got onto the carriage with my friend, we were going to a matinee at the theatre. Before I could take my seat, next to a youngish man, the train pulled off. All my weight had been on one foot so the motion tipped me over sideways. I flailed about trying to regain my balance but my head kinda went into his lap. I was absolutely mortified. I was red-faced and apologetic but my friend (sitting opposite) was NO help, she just laughed at me, with an expression part shocked and part delighted.

Another train journey on a different day found me the victim of ‘man-spreading’. Sitting in a window seat, a man sat beside me, legs akimbo. Opposite me a pin-stripe suited guy was claiming space the same way. I was wearing a shortish dress & didn’t want to rub knees with either of them, so I sat with my legs tightly crossed. At my stop, I stood up but my tangled legs had gone numb! My ankle turned in my high heeled boots making me stumble into pin-stripe guy and tread on his toes! I felt pretty foolish but decided he deserved the pain!

I met a friend in a popular burger and chips restaurant off Oxford Street which I’d visited once previously. Before sitting down to consume our meal I needed to wash my hands. Dashing so that my food wouldn’t get cold, I shot into the bathrooms. I wondered briefly why a man was coming out! I gave him a bit of a glare, before I realised the error was mine! I had turned in the wrong direction and was standing in the gents’ washrooms! Exit a red-faced and apologetic Posy!

I should conclude with my click-bait story:

Ever had your skirt fall off while out for a walk?

Unsurprisingly it’s related to a dog walk. Seven years ago it was my lunch hour and I was exercising my dog. Still in my cute office outfit I wore a sweater, a short tiered skirt teamed with boots and thick tights. For warmth I grabbed a coat and swapped my boots for wellies. Aware my skirt was a bit short, I used to arrange it to sit on my hips not my waist. Striding round the field, dog off lead, I pulled to adjust my skirt, but a bit too hard. I caused it to slip completely off! It landed in a pool around my ankles! Shocked, I looked about  to see if anyone had witnessed my clothes malfunction. Nobody in sight. Luckily my quilted coat covered my state of undress to mid-thigh. I quickly pulled my skirt back up again & carried on walking.

Submitted for Masturbation Monday week #250 Image is from Pixabay.