Posy and Tabitha wearing name necklaces

What I took Away from Eroticon 2019 [2 of 2]

His Lordship wearing just his sporran

Picture courtesy of His Lordship

After attending Jaime’s talk on BDSM, there was once again a brief comfort break before the next lecture.


* If gaps between talks were a little longer it would assist networking


I wasn’t sure which session I had earmarked to attend next, but I sneaked (slightly late) into Franki Cookney’s talk about bringing sex-positivity to ‘traditional’ audiences.  


I initially wondered if the talk was relevant to the way I blog, as I write predominantly fiction rather than opinion pieces. I quickly realised from Franki’s no-nonsense delivery that anyone hoping to pitch their writing to other sites could learn from her advice and suggestions.  She suggested putting a spin on topics but using language which was neither startling or jargon-filled – i.e. tailored for the publication in which your article would appear (check out their ‘house’ style, use a glossary of terms to explain terminology they might not be familiar with)


* You can’t write well about sex without empathy


* There’s no shame in dumbing down your language to reach a wider audience and cross barriers


* Create something free from shame & stigma which people can enjoy


* Don’t ridicule people for not knowing things – we all knew nothing at some point

The question whether pornographers feel the need to educate applies to sex bloggers and erotica writers too.  She suggested that what we do with our writing can reduce shame and stigma, perhaps even keep people from harm.


Franki also offered herself as a source: anyone who had a personal story or piece with an unusual angle, she would be happy to offer advice as to which publications would be the best places to offer it for publication.


The next ‘mingle’ I spent at the Rocks Off stand, watching @TabithaRayne demonstrate their wares, including her toy Ruby Glow, which was making a pre-launch appearance in a new colour.  I met Tabitha last year and we hit it off really well, our friendship growing over the last 12 months. I’m a big fan of her erotic writing and recently we worked together to craft a story about a FFM threesome

Taking a break at the stand with me was Rosie so we had chatted about autism and kinks.  Like a knight in shining armour @PJA Woode brought cups of coffee – Woody and I had not met prior to Eroticon, although we DM and talk on the phone before we co-write erotica for FrolicMe.  Also attending the conference was Anna Richardson who is the founder and creator of the female-friendly ethical porn site that is FrolicMe.  (She was rocking some great leopard print trousers and DM boots) We discussed what age verification on blogs and porn sites might mean for us all.


* Note to self, ask @DomSigns about a plug-in (hopefully there is a free one!) to make an age verification gateway on my site


The Kinklab demonstrations aren’t for me, but while other delegates enjoyed them, testing out the electrastim gadgets, the rope suspension device and the gizmos that Mac the Vac had brought, I took the opportunity to network further.


@HIsLordship is fairly easy to spot in a crowd, he’s very tall and was wearing a kilt!  We had a talk about writing, veering into our vanilla projects [I’ve written a spooky story for 10-12 year olds].


* I should take my story off Wattpad & self publish it as an e-novella


@AlunNorley (also sporting a kilt) flattered me greatly by asking for an autograph against my piece in Discovery.  We had quite a meeting of minds, discussing writing and prompts and bemoaning limited time for writing.


Back to the hotel room for a little downtime & a cup of fruit tea.  Then roomie and I went out for a pizza before getting dressed for the Saturday night mixer.  We were met by the delicious smell of popcorn so armed with a carton of kernels and our drinks we began to mingle.


That night I met KatyAnnSwann and Bianca from Helen’s Toybox who were both new voices to me and Starcross, whose writing I’ve long admired.  I enjoyed talking with @Starcross and BibulousOne, the latter had invited me to witness a very private scene of domination and submission between him and Mistress Elita  prior to Friday’s meet & greet. As you can imagine I wanted to thank him and share my thoughts on what I’d witnessed. Later we both caught up with Zak Jane Kier who regaled us with stories of writing, editing and her early days at fetish clubs.


Out in the hotel bar I caught up with Marie Rebelle, EL Byrne (the latter wearing a super-cute black unicorn horn) and Master T – we exchanged some banter about hot spas and holidays and were soon joined by (the birthday girl) Master’s Eye, Luke and Jack.  Everyone was beginning to agree that it was bedtime, so I headed up to my room trying to be super quiet, as roomie was already sleeping.


* Determined to have a proper talk with Marie and MasterT next year


With a later start to sessions on Sunday, we slept peacefully before indulging in another delicious hotel breakfast.  Submissy & His Lordship were breakfasting at the same time so I had a final catch up with them – discussing how much is too much to share with our grown-up children.  The conclusion was that it doesn’t take much information before our kids make pained faces and accuse us of oversharing!

* Increase the anonymity of my blog – use Zebra Rose’s tips


* Ensure my pictures don’t provide links back to me, or my IP address doesn’t mean my blog gets suggested to family and friends (eek!)

It was time for Luv Bunny and the other delegates to enjoy Sunday’s sessions, while I finished packing and got the train home.  I put my copy of Discovery in my handbag, so that I could read it on the journey, the first 2 chapters I selected to read impressed me with their honesty, bravery and the romance portrayed.  


I was constantly sideswiped by FOMO, as tweets blew up my phone in response to the excellent speakers and praise for the reading sessions still happening at Eroticon.


* Attend for both days of the conference next year


*Have the next day off work as con-drop is a disorienting thing


* Give yourself time to write, so many ideas get hatched by the sessions and interaction with fellow writers that you’ll want to rough them all out.


My goody bag contained great gifts, although some I can’t use. I retain anonymity regarding the type of blog I write (I tell people it’s a lifestyle blog – they try not to yawn and don’t ask further questions). So I can’t make use of the mugs at home or work.  I’ll find use for the honey (@sub_bee) and I’m already using the (Hot Octopuss) vacuum flask/mug so a drink lasts longer when I’m writing. I always need an ideas notebook (Fetish.com) and I have a photo plan for the temporary tattoo (Hot Octopuss again). I bravely read the ETO magazine on the train home and I’ll give it and the cocktail flavoured lubes to my toy tester Vampy Valentine!

Discovery Anthology The book & e-bookOthers have described their Eroticon experiences, from a myriad of perspectives. Check out all their links here, and take a look at my #SoSS piece
 which shares links to the work of most of the great people I met.


The last word has to go to the fabulous anthology which you could buy at Eroticon, with contributions limited to authors who attended this conference or last year’s.  Discovery is now available from Amazon

This post is submitted for #Masturbation Monday – click the link to see who else is participating

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9 thoughts on “What I took Away from Eroticon 2019 [2 of 2]”

  1. It is always so interesting to see what others have taken away and I love the style of this with your tips to yourself. Thanks for the shout out. We really enjoyed meeting up with you again too ?

  2. I hear you on the gaps between sessions but if we added more it would result in a significant drop in the number of sessions we could offer and it is one of the reasons we have a social both nights now to give folks that opportunity to just spend time hanging out


    1. Ah yes, I can see that’s a consideration Molly. My OH also pointed out if people got in depth with their talking they might not get to the next session, which would be a shame. It sometimes feels a bit intense, but in a good way!

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