Like Shooting Fish in a Barrel

Placards relating to shariing

The vanilla version of me used to write a book blog and book reviews – which is how I came into contact with Richard Cunliffe: author of All These Nearly Fights.  But we became friends via e-mail talking about the book, my thoughts and reactions to it and so much more.  Since then Richard has become a sounding board and a friend, so when he was bemoaning the task of promoting his books I wanted to help.

I asked Richard if I could put my spin on a particular scene, taking the female PoV to describe the interaction, which I felt I could submit for #masturbationmonday.  He agreed, although after reading my first draft his reaction was:
” Wow! It actually feels really weird when another writer appropriates your characters like that.”

Richard will summarise the ‘story so far’ then I will be writing as Isabel.

— 0 —

Quick-witted car salesman Jimmy Harris is in the money – he’s won nearly four-million pounds playing the lottery. His winnings do, however, cause him complications. Chief among these is whether to remain with current girlfriend, Charlotte, or try hooking up once more with former partner, Isabel, to whom he still feels attracted, even though she left him three years ago for a man who, at the time, had far more money than Jimmy.

Unsure what to do, he contacts Isabel under the pretext of returning some property of hers which he found in his loft. Upon calling at her house, he finds she’s now single – the man she left Jimmy for now having walked out on her, but not before getting her pregnant with a son Oscar who’s now approaching his first birthday.

Finding Isabel in financially dire straits, Jimmy takes her malfunctioning car away in order to get it repaired for her. Then, during the following 24 hours, Jimmy receives advice from friends that he’s lucky to have Charlotte for a girlfriend, so resolves to remain faithful to her. He’s ill-prepared, however, for the events that occur when he returns Isabel’s car. He finds her dressed to kill and intent on seducing him…

— 0 —

It’s been a few weeks since my ex Jimmy contacted me on the spurious excuse of returning my hairdressing trophy!  My first thought was that he’d heard that the guy I left him for had ditched me and wanted to gloat, but Jimmy’s not like that.  My instincts say he still carries a torch.  

Jimmy and I have both grown up a lot since our messy break-up.  I’m no longer the high-maintenance princess, and he isn’t as cocky or jack-the-lad. He’s thrown out a few charming lines, but I batted them away, catching him in my laser-beam stare.  To get in my good books, he’s called in some favours at the car showroom, sprucing up my 4×4 up for a quick sale.  I’m expecting him to deliver it in about an hour.  

Jimmy’s conveyed his interest in both blatant and subtle ways, a girl can tell when she’s being eyed up, especially by someone she knows intimately.  Having spent all day packing boxes for my house move, I’m now luxuriating in a hot shower, droplets drumming on my neck and shoulders to massage away stiffness from my exertions.  Rubbing shampoo into my hair, the lather runs in rivulets over my curves while my imagination wanders back to good times with Jimmy who worshipped me, always thinking he was punching above his weight.

My nipples tingle when the shower head focuses on them, splashing the water over my stomach, down to my pubis, warming the folds of flesh which are already swelling, awoken by its fluid caress.  My anticipation builds, along with a hunger to taste that delicious man once again.  I’ve heard he’s hooked up with someone in my absence, a primary school teacher, but I dismiss her as of no consequence.  She can’t be holding his interest if he’s come trailing across town, if he’s turning himself inside out to please me.

I rub myself dry smoothing sweet almond lotion over my body:  legs and breasts and buttocks.  I spritz perfume, stepping into its vapour then drag a comb through my wet hair.  I have just enough time to apply a hint of mascara before I hear my car on the drive.  I shrug on a short white robe of teddy-bear fleece, tying it at the waist, then hurry downstairs barefoot.

As I open the front door, I’m greeted by Jimmy’s handsome face and cheeky grin, causing my stomach to twist and flutter in the familiar grip of lust.  All the reasons we worked as a couple flood back into my consciousness, and I know I’m right to make a play for him.

“Sorry” I smile, “I was just drying my hair.”

I can see my car parked, and even in the waning light it looks buffed – not just clean, the chrome gleams and the tyres are blackened.  

“Jimmy, you’re special,” I purr, flashing him a megawatt smile.  “You’ve even had it washed.”

“And polished, ma’am,” Jimmy gestures a salute and I catch his gaze wandering to the shadow between my breasts, before sweeping down to appreciate the acres of thigh on display.  Yeah come to mamma!  He’s hooked and I’m reeling him in!

“You look great Iz, not very mummy shaped from where I’m standing.”

“Thanks.  Come on in and I’ll make you a coffee.”  I turn on my heel to hide a triumphant smirk, leading the way down to the kitchen, deeper into my web.

“Been busy packing?” Jimmy’s voice echoes in the near empty kitchen, where the big red Gaggia coffee machine dominates the counter space.  It’s key to tonight’s seduction scenario so it’s powered up and brooding, lights aglow amongst it’s various pans and levers.

“I’ve been packing most of the day, I didn’t realise I owned so much stuff!”  I wave him over to the breakfast bar so I can concentrate on fixing his coffee, and he can get a bird’s eye view of me bending, twisting and reaching in my ass-skimming bathrobe.

“Mum and dad’s place won’t be big enough for everything!”

“I certainly realised you owned so much stuff,” he laughs.  It may’ve been three years, but I remember you’re the world champion of stuff ownership.”

I preen, allowing myself to smirk, because he’s thinking of us, remembering what I’m like.  The intervening years fall away and suddenly it feels very comfortable, him and me in the kitchen, joking around.  I ask him about what was wrong with the car – it takes him a while to get his thoughts back on track, I’d guess he caught a glimpse under my robe when I reached into the fridge for the milk.  

I concentrate, grinding coffee beans and steaming the milk.  I’m a bit of a novice with the Gaggia, my ex Lee bought it to be flash but I’ve never used it much.  I catch Jimmy’s gaze caressing my smooth legs which has me heating up, gathering moisture.  I’m naked under this robe, so too much of that and he might be able to see, but I have my eye on the prize.  Jimmy makes a clumsy subject change about buying a gift for my son. This is easy!  Like shooting fish in a barrel.

“I’m sure Oscar would love any Christmas present you choose.  He’s too young to understand it all.  But don’t feel you have to, Jimmy,” I coo, locking eyes with him, moistening my lips with the tip of my tongue.  “Especially since you just got my car fixed.”

“Didn’t cost me anything.  Like I told you, a mechanic owed me a favour.”

That triggers a memory, Jimmy used to be a mechanic.  That’s how we met.  I recall being transfixed by his bulging muscles as he reached under my car to cure it’s problems with practised tightening of bolts and replacing of spark plugs.  I love a capable man and he was a very sexy grease monkey.

Adding fresh espresso to the steamed milk, I glance at him.  “Still no sugar?”

“Still no sugar, thanks, Iz.”

“Not even in real coffee? You started drinking big lattes extra sweet.  I remember … Rudi at work got you into it.”

“Rudi still drinks them, but he hasn’t put on weight.”

I sense Jimmy’s resolve wavering.  

“Tell you what, just a spoonful.  Maybe I deserve a treat.”  

“Maybe you do.” My voice is low, soothing.  My smirk is back.  

When I set the coffee in front of him, Jimmy asks why I’m not joining him.  “I’m going to have a proper drink.”  I reach down a bottle of Jack Daniels from a cupboard.  “It’s Friday night and it’s nearly Christmas.”  
I’m aware the front of my robe has loosened.

“And you’ve got your car back.  I think that calls for a JD,” he agrees. 

I reach down a tumbler and pour a good slug of bourbon, mixing it with Coke and ice.  “Have one with me?”  I hold the glass towards him – this is the tipping point.  Will he?  It’s his choice.  Spend time with me, or go home to his girlfriend.  I know what I want, so I project it onto him.

“Alright, but a small one please. And we should take them to the lounge shouldn’t we?”

“Why’s that?”  I slosh a good big measure into a second glass, then meet his gaze.

“To check up on Oscar.  Based on yesterday’s performance, he could’ve torn the room up by now.”

I smile at his concern, it’s finally time to show my hand.  “I wondered if you’d think of that.”  I sit next to him on the long bench seat.  My naked thigh brushes against his warm, fabric clad one.  “Here, I’ll let you add your own Coke.”

“My big boy isn’t home.  My Mum’s looking after him for a few hours.”  I lift my drink to sip making the ice tinkle.  “I’ve asked her to have him because I’ve got a date tonight.”

“That’s great Iz.”  But his coffee doesn’t make it to his lips.  Trying to suppress his surprise he sets it down again.  “I’m pleased for you.  Anyone I know?”

I groan inwardly – apparently I have to spell it out, although it’s great having the upper hand.  With nipples tightening in anticipation and lust swirling in my core, I take one more sip of JD to boost my courage and flavour my lips.  I slide him a sideways look, lashes lowered.  Jimmy’s waffling on about me not needing to keep him company just to be polite when I should be getting ready.

I swivel towards him, my leg pressing against his to capture him with a full-on laser gaze.  “Jimmy, don’t be so thick.  And please don’t make this harder than it already is.  You’re my bloody date.”

His mouth hangs open, “Me?” 

“Seriously!” my throat tightens with anxiety. “Did I get you all wrong?”  

I ease closer and I know he smells that I’m fresh from the shower, perhaps with a subliminal layer of arousal.  My heart is thumping while my pussy thrums, I rest my hand high on his thigh.  “Did I really misread you?  I thought this was what you wanted.”

Conflicted emotions race over Jimmy’s face, he’s a gentleman at heart, but I’m pressing all his buttons. I stroke gentle circles with my nail on his taut leg muscles close to his raging hard-on.  He leans in, cupping my face, his own expression etched with sincerity but there’s a dark, bottomless look his eyes.

“Isabel, what’s brought all this about?”

“You did, Jimmy.  You brought this about, coming round here – being sexy, being funny, being kind.”  I move my lips close, until they brush his, til we’re breathing each other’s air, warm and tinged with bourbon and Coke.  “What the fuck did you suppose was going to happen?”

“So this is down to me?” his voice sounds strangled.  

Gazing at me hungrily the hand which was cupping my face slides down my neck, moving under the robe to graze my taut nipple.

“Oh yeah, absolutely it is,” I sigh.

Our kiss is soft at first, tentative, as we remind ourselves of each other’s geography.  I press my tongue harder,  in pursuit of his, seeking the essence of him, Jimmy responds with enthusiasm.  It’s familiar, yet different, I’m getting what I want aren’t I?

“Just remember, that this is totally your fault, Jimmy.”  I break off.  “Make sure you remember that.”  

His eyes are hungry now, burning with a fever, so I loosen the sash on my robe and it slips off my shoulders.

“Remember you brought all this on yourself.”  I press my thighs together, my excitement has created a warm slick at their apex.

Jimmy ducks his head to grasp a pert pink nipple between his lips, then I can’t speak any more.  Hell I’m fighting to breathe, my passion pounding within my chest.  He’s awakened all my dark desires as I knew he would.  

I step into his warm embrace, me naked and him clothed,  yet sensing I have all the power.
His hard member makes its presence felt through the fabric of his trousers.  It throbs with heat and I want to release it. I can hardly wait to have it press into my tender flesh, and yet I don’t want this over in a rush.  I’ve played this in my head so many times, I want it embellished with every nuance of teasing pleasure.

I mentioned Jimmy had some moves when he was flirting with me yesterday, and it seems he’s remembered exactly the ones I like.  I drop my head back, sighing with bliss as he cups a buttock in each hand, holding me captive while he explores deep and yet teasingly with his tongue.  I pluck at my nipples and bite my lip, luxuriating in the sensations and wet sounds he’s making. His groans of pleasure vibrate through me, not unpleasantly, and I curl my fingers in his close-cut hair.

When Jimmy climbs my body to nibble at my neck, I drag him up to kiss me deeply, frantic fingers get to work on buttons and flies till he’s as naked as me.  We sink to the hardwood floor in a locked embrace. I tilt my hips to rub my fleshy mound up and down his shaft, burning with desire.

“Wait a second,” I breathe, rummaging in my discarded robe for a condom packet, which Jimmy tears open with his teeth, sliding on the protection before nestling his heated tip at my core.

“Ready?” he asks, hovering above me, his face etched with control.

“Ready” I nod.   

I clutch at his back, eagerly drawing him in as he presses home.  His first thrust is powerful, electrifying me with sensations I’ve been craving, a joyous starburst mixed with hot, sweet stretching.  I welcome him, meeting him thrust for thrust.  I draw my knees up and wrap them round his back, clutching him closer, deeper.  I’m scaling the walls of my arousal, he lifts me, making me soar. I bite his shoulder crying out his name.  Jimmy’s hips buck in time with our guttural sounds.  It’s urgent and over all too fast as he fucks me like he just got out of prison.

If you enjoy this, I hope you will research the book which inspired it with a view to making a purchase, it’s an entertaining read of moral dilemmas and human interest.
Masturbation Monday

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