When Masturbation STILL Doesn’t Go To Plan!
Recently I met up with Anna Richards (the creator of classy sex positive films: Site FrolicMe) and one of my favourite erotic writers Tabitha Rayne. If you haven’t been reading my blog for long (or maybe living under a rock) you might not know that as well as writing erotica Tabitha invented an innovative sex toy “The Ruby Glow” which is marketed by Rocks Off.
The Ruby Glow is unusual in that it is a hands-free toy for seated use. This is not a review for the Ruby Glow but you can read a great one here and another here!
Tabitha very kindly provided me with my own Ruby Glow when we met up, as we stood on a busy London street in broad daylight she calmly opened the box to check that it had working batteries in! We had just been drinking cocktails, but still it was a ballsy move!
Back at Churchgate Towers, I was writing an erotic story to accompany a film on the FrolicMe site. After watching and writing, writing and watching, I began to feel quite horny! This could be the perfect opportunity to try out my new Ruby Glow. Tabitha told me she’d sat on it whilst writing porn and it had been the ride of her life! What better endorsement could I ask for?!
The only problem was that my teenager was home! But said teenager was about to go for a shower, so that was my window of opportunity!
I hustled the dark pink toy out of its box and positioned it underneath me, I was sitting on my bed at the time, while the ubiquitous dogs were lounging on the carpet near the TV (yes, they were witnessing it again!). I switched the toy on and it was buzzing merrily away (not a low steady vibe for me, No! I selected a pattern). I was just getting myself comfortable on the Ruby Glow’s bumps and ridges when the teen reappeared in the bedroom to make a fuss of the dogs!
Argh! What to do? Style it out and pretend nothing out of the ordinary was happening? Just me sitting here clicking about on my laptop. But I could hear the buzzing sound and I realised the teenager could too when they began to tilt their head as if to determine the origin of the sound! I tried to adjust how I was sitting on the device to muffle it. Problem was … pressing the Ruby Glow into the mattress meant it vibrated into the mattress cavity…so it got louder!
Teen was still looking puzzled, a state which only increased when I pointed the remote at the TV and turned the sound up! I fidgeted about, trying to drag a pillow onto the vibrating device and take my weight off it.
I’m not sure I styled it out very well, but teenager left the room for a shower so with haste I whipped out the Ruby Glow from under me. I switched it off by removing the batteries (I was too flustered to work out how to turn it off correctly!) and hid it under the pillows in case my ‘visitor’ returned!
I kept trying to think of something to say to the teen which would normalise the incident, but I came up blank! My hope was that my youngest thought the noise was their phone on vibrate. In the end I decided the old adage “least said, soonest mended” could work in my favour.
I was so embarrassed! I couldn’t even bear to tell my OH what had happened till a couple of weeks later. He laughed and called me a minx and asked why I did not wait until youngest had gone back to college. I know I should have, but was just so curious to try my new Ruby Glow! Anyway, I’m sure it’ll work better and feel more comfortable when I am sitting at my desk chair – probably seated with legs straight out in the bed is not the position the device was designed for. I wouldn’t saying it’s a really noisy toy, but anyone in the same room as you will hear it!
Trust me on this!