My Sex Toy Packing Dilemma

Hi guys, for #WickedWednesday this week you can help me out with my packing dilema, I’m about to go on holiday with my delicious husband of 25 years (yep! 25 years, where did that all go??  Although with a grown up child of almost as many years, I have tangible evidence that the time has passed!)  We are travelling somewhere very exotic and hot, and sunbathing always makes me frisky, so I am hoping for some delicious intimate moments with my man, but what should I pack?  I can’t be all vanilla now that I have sampled the delights of light bondage, anal play, stimulating my g-spot with a vibrator etc. etc.  But I want to take discrete things that will get through customs without too much fuss – I think I can brazen it out but I am not sure Mr Churchgate can!

Preparation #1 Waxing.
My OH got his upper torso waxed and I booked myself a Hollywood and a half-leg.  Our waxing professional is a darling girl who works from home and offers the most painless and pleasant experience I’ve ever had (I’ve had leg waxes for 30 years) –  this from someone who used to take paracetamol before having an intimate wax.  I think her secret is that she talks very openly, which makes you relax and she always places her hand firmly on the area from which she’s just stripped the hairs – which immediately stops it “zinging” with angry pain.  So we are both silky smooth [tick].

Preparation #2 Privacy.
I have 2 lockable toy boxes, both from Lovehoney, so decided to pack the smaller one in my hold luggage – hoping that customs won’t need to rifle through that one, and if they do I might not be present!

I nearly made a mistake however, I’ve put all my charger cables (phone, laptop, kindle etc.) in my hand luggage and last night before bed I must’ve put the vibe I chose (I’ll get to that in a minute*) in that bag – so as I went to close it today with all my essentials in – it went off with quite a loud buzzing noise.  OH nearly choked he was so shocked. My response was:
“Oh I’m glad that happened, I meant to put it in the other bag!  If it goes off in the case it can give all my clothes a thrill”

Preparation #3 Toy Selection process.

Ideally I’d have taken my glass dildo, as we’re staying in a hot country so I would have loved to make it extra cold and see how that felt sliding inside me  (have you read Lucy’s delicious story where her character uses real ice?) but I was afraid it might break.

I’d told one of my writing collaborators that I might take my g-string knickers with a pearl thong – but I felt that item required photos and an actual going out occasion (I heard one user nearly had an orgasm wearing them when she had to climb so many steps) I chickened out!

A tiny bullet vibe (the Rocks Off Bamboo) is a favourite of mine at the moment, being waterproof (shower fun) and is great held at my clit when there’s another kind of penetration going on.  It is also very small, so into the lockable case it went!

Anal play – yeah this is a new thing for me and my OH, I’d like to try using a plug while he stimulates or actually fucks me, so far I’ve only tried wearing one for solo play.  I have a neat one from Lovehoney Cupid’s Itty Bitty Beginner’s’ Butt Plug, so into the lockable case it went!

Lube – this is very important for anal play and makes flesh lovely and slippery for all kinds of other play too (giving your man a hand job with cold lube is epic!)  so I put a small bottle of Maximus water based lube into my washbag – best to take care with wet things which might leak!

I have previously had all kinds of fun with this  dildo – using one end and for anal stimulation, the other end for vaginal (see my review and our hotel frolics in Paris here!) but I decided instead to go for an insertable that could do lots of things!  So this didn’t make the selection process.

Tracey Cox G-Spot Vibrator – this is nice and girthy, with a curve to it which can massage my G-spot (the jury is out as to whether I actually like my G-spot massaged, it often makes me feel slightly “Nooo get off!!” but I’d love to squirt one day, so I persist with the experimenting!)  It has lots of speeds and patterns and is also mains chargeable (yay! In case it goes off buzzing in my luggage.*)  Being silicone coated, this needs water based lube, but I’ve got that packed)

Love egg – hell why not?  I plan to wear one around the hotel apartment (maybe by the pool – I don’t know how devilish I’ll feel) to get me in the mood for sexy times with my OH, so I packed a pretty pink one (although mine is a single)!  It is not a remote control egg, simply relying on a free-moving weight inside.

Nipple play – lets not leave the girls out of the fun!  Both Mr Churchgate and I are coming to realise that our nipples actually like rough play; so some decent pinching and biting, but to start things off how about an insistent icy tingle?  Balm is great for this, and in a cute little tin, so into the lockable toy case it went!

Now some of you (I’m talking particularly to you here Elliott) may be wondering if I have brought my trusty selfie stick so that I can take photos – for #SinfulSunday etc.  Well don’t worry, I have!  I have also brought my laptop, so that I can write, even if I don’t get onto Twitter as much as usual.  I’ll also be reading and voting done on the #SmutMarathon, and probably reading something saucy on my Kindle. This is going to be a delicious holiday, I can tell.

I look forward to sharing some of my adventures with you all, my Dark Darlings.

6 thoughts on “My Sex Toy Packing Dilemma”

  1. Really wish you a wonderful holiday – well done on 25 years – We go away for about 5 weeks every winter and cause I am not really one for vibrators or dildos our job is quite easy. We pack some long silky scarves, so he can tie me up. Also remember those belts in the 90's – long tendrils attached? well i pack one of them and when we are at our destination we find a nice solid stick for a handle and my man makes a whip from the stick and the belt with some cable ties – never travel without the m- really cool 😉 xx

  2. OMG – that's a serious haul of sex toys you got there. I'm packing for my trip right now and my wife is already telling me I've packed too many clothes. Hey, it's three weeks – who wants to do laundry?! Our 16y.o. daughter is coming with us so… no sex toys for us. Zilch. Which means I am already soooo jealous of your trip! It's sounds like you and your husband are going to have A LOT of fun. So yes, take those damn photos – lots of them!!

  3. I've been married 14 years, and just got back from vacationing with my hubby. Your packing list made me chuckle. We're in a slightly different place sexual-activity wise: I remembered to pack lube for the first time in forever, and when I told him this as we were climbing into bed one night, he said, "…why?"


    He was kidding, but it was hilariously deadpan and – mostly due to health reasons – an absolutely valid and candidly honest response. Sex is not much on our agenda right now, but love very much is. 🙂

    Congratulations on 25 years together! I hope your vacation is lovely. 🙂

  4. Ha Ha my Dark Darlings – I am loving these comments and thank you all for sharing. I can honestly say that after a morning of the sun beating down on my pudenda while I read the sexy posts you guys have submitted for #WickedWednesday I had to visit my room and make use of 1 toy already!

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