~ Young Posy begins her sexual journey ~

When I was about 14 I was a prolific reader and very into pop music – these facts are important because both media introduced me to the concept of female self pleasure!  I’ve posted before about how society is totally accepting (encouraging almost) about males/penis owners masturbating, but there is shade cast on girls/vulva owners who do.  Anyway at 14, although my friends talked about boys and sex, none of them ever admitted to having needs or urges and certainly never about how to satisfy them!

I know I’ve mentioned before that I went to boarding school from 12 to 16, so I had the added problem of little/no privacy in which to pleasure myself – I slept in a room with at least 13 other girls FGS!  We could see each other getting in/out of showers, we only had little cubicles behind our beds (think clothes shop changing room, with a curtain) for privacy, and where we slept, our beds were just over a metre apart.

Let’s back up to how books helped me – in those days I read a lot of Harold Robbins (the women got turned on unrealistically – do people really get aroused by driving fast in a car?!) James Herbert (people went pretty pervy from the contaminated fog!) Shirley Conran (anyone want a live fish in their vagina?).  My reading was not censored, we girls passed around books with sexy bits marked (the pages would be turned at the corner for the racy portions) so I began to learn that women could give themselves sexual satisfaction and after reading some of those erotic passages in books – I’d feel wet and I’d want to do that!

The first time I masturbated I was in the school sick bay – I dunno what was wrong with me (upset stomach or banging headache, nothing too bad ) but the privacy was a gift!  I remember I made myself quite sore that day!  Firstly because I wasn’t sure where to touch and rubbed myself for ages before anything began to happen – not least of my problems that day was that I wasn’t touching myself directly, I was trying to stimulate myself through my knickers!   When the fizzing and buzzing between my legs eventually resulted in an explosion of lovely sensations, I HAD to try to make it happen again a few more times!  No wonder I was rubbed raw!

Gradually I learned which bits of myself to touch and in what way to get satisfaction; I’d lie waiting in bed til the dormitory got quiet, then I’d silently tease and stroke myself under the covers until I came.  Afterwards I’d sleep with the hand that had rubbed my pussy under the pillow, because I was ashamed of myself and the smell of my arousal.  To counteract this I progressed onto having a wank while taking a shower.  Our school showers were little separate cubicles but in a communal room, the shower curtains were skimpy and opaque, so privacy was an issue again, but I got pretty adept at getting myself off fast and furtively (obviously still in silence).

Music – how did that have any bearing on my self-pleasure you’re wondering?  Well basically the song lyrics I heard gave me permission to diddle myself.  Perhaps what I was doing made me a fast girl  (or is that a term for girls who went all the way?) From songs I learned that boys were yearning to get in the pants of girls, especially sexually aware girls like me, but were just as anxious and confused as us girls were!  Also, I learned through song lyrics and books, that women could be overtly sexual and let guys know what they wanted ‘in the bedroom’!  For example:

Joe Jackson – It’s Different for Girls
The Knack – My Sharona &  Good Girls Don’t
Divinyls – I Touch Myself
Angie Baby – Helen Reddy
I Feel Love – Donna Summer
Automatic Lover – Dee D Jackson
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop
Blondie – Picture This
Lou Reed – Walk on the Wild Side
Patti LaBelle – Lady Marmalade
The Pretenders – Tattooed Love Boys
The Four Seasons – Oh What a Night
Bobby Goldsboro – Summer (the First Time) ~was she the original cougar?
The Pointer Sisters – I’m So Excited & Automatic

I know song lyrics nowadays are a lot more explicit , but I’m talking about the music of my teens, I grew up when information was not so easily available.  We didn’t have computers and internet, music came from the radio, blasting from boom boxes or in the headphones of a personal stereo which played tapes!  Female pop stars, however, were increasingly sexy – their stage costumes were more revealing, dance moves were beginning to get raunchy so they seemed to be aspirational – girls were getting their groove on!  

So much has changed for teenagers now, but I’m describing the birth of MY sexuality, yet I wonder how similar or different yours was.  As always, please leave comments because it is fascinating to know what you think, and to read what your experiences were.   This piece was inspired by 2 equally frank posts by my blogger friend May Moore and was created to particpate in Kayla Lords‘ lovely meme #MasturbationMonday.  I’m also delighted to announce that I’ve discovered a fantastic Sex Blog Directory in which both May & I are listed, so why not check it out?!

Comments (7)

  1. Reply

    Yeah, thats a great list and I know pretty much all of them. I love the pic too, so thanks for sharing it and the story! Good to know that girls were just as messed up as us boys! (I only wished I’d known it sooner!)

  2. Reply

    Ahh the Walkman. I loved that thing, it was my pride and joy and when you were talking about women artists the one who jumped into my mind was Madonna. I thought she was amazing, and I definitely had ambitions to be a bit Madonna. I even had a bra type top with slightly pointy cups that I bought in Camden market when I was about 15. I LOVED that thing

    Mollyx

  3. Reply

    I love how music can shape us, in all kinds of ways. As someone who grew up with VERY explicit music (although not by today's standards, lol), I'm always shocked at the hidden meanings in older music. Although, once I know the meaning, I can't not hear it, either, so it seems very explicit. 🙂

  4. Pingback: Loving Myself - Posy Churchgate : Pillow Talk

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